After a three-year battle against ovarian cancer, my mom passed on November 9, surrounded by loved ones. While my family knew her condition was worsening in the last months, we couldn’t have fathomed the pain of losing someone as extraordinary as my mother.
The services have now passed, family members have returned to their homes, and warm condolences continue to flood in, though I still can’t help but feel that I’m in an alternate dimension, where time alternatively stops or bleeds together. Memories of my mom young and carefree to those of her last days in the hospital continually flash back; I find myself lost as I search and long for her presence as equally as I’m comforted in knowing she’s in a far better place.
Earlier this year, when we learned my mom was no longer in remission and diagnosed with recurrent cancer, I worked hard to find appreciation in the time spent with her and the overwhelming love and support we received from our family and friends. And now, as I try to shift that perspective again, I realize my mom’s absence is just as powerful as her lasting presence.
Even though my heart aches deeply in knowing that my mom did not live to see my brother or I get married, or become a grandparent by my dad’s side, the beauty of her legacy by far overpowers the pains. The courage, generosity, and strength she instilled and inspired in so many lives assure me that she never lost her fight nor will we ever lose her in spirit.
If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next, don’t be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path toward happiness; don’t waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes, because you’ll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart…where your hope lives. You’ll find your way again. — Everwood (via creatingaquietmind)
(Source: peacelovejoynlife, via thatkindofwoman)
A truly beautiful wedding under the redwoods
I was anxious about camping for no reason (at YMCA Camp Campbell)
A special midweek meal (at Gary Danko)
OFFICIAL NOTICE: OCT 15 from Tucker Nichols
I think this covers it
Pain is a by-product of life. That’s the truth. Life sometimes sucks. That’s true for everyone. But if you don’t face the pain and the suck, you don’t ever get the other things either. Laughter. Joy. Love. Pain passes, but those things are worth fighting for. Worth dying for. — Vignette by Jim Butcher (via thatkindofwoman)
Couldn’t feel truer than now
(Source: lostinthesounds, via thatkindofwoman)
Marcella Hazan’s famous tomato sauce. Super easy recipe and what amazing color.
The next best thing to Los Pollos Hermanos
Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn. — Orson Welles (via thatkindofwoman)
(Source: farewell-kingdom, via thatkindofwoman)
Live inside the old 16th Street Station for the SF/Oakland Station to Station finale
Detail at Marni S/S 2014, photographed by Taylor Jewell
(Source: Vogue, via musingsinfemininity)